Making fun of social justice, campus band and choir edition

Now even the students are making fun of it!

First, from the Columbia band:

Much of the band’s mockery was directed at the university’s sexual respect education program, a new requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students, which gives participants the option of attending a workshop on subjects like “bystander intervention,” or submitting artwork about sexual respect.

“The arts option was inspired by the random doodles scrawled by judiciary hearing panels when they pretend to listen to survivors’ stories,” Orli Matlow, one of the band’s two readers, joked to laughter from those gathered in the library.

An alleged rapist, she continued, had “submitted the following haiku:

“I am so sorry

Rape is very very bad

Let me graduate.”

The band also made light of a recent protest by a Columbia anti-sexual assault group, No Red Tape, during which the words “Columbia Protects Rapists” was projected onto the university’s Low Library when prospective students were visiting the school.

“An army of high school creepers is now thinking, ‘Yes, I will go to Columbia after all,’” the band’s “poet laureate,” Mikhail Klimentov, a junior, said.

Second, a hilarious song from the Oberlin choir, here are some of the lyrics:

I once heard about the real world
(We once heard about the real world)

Where people can be mean
(Where people can be mean)

Where there are competitions
(What’s a competition?)

That don’t give trophies when you leave
(My room is full of those)

People might dare to correct me
(I think I’m getting triggered)

Tell me feelings are not facts
(I’m locked inside a bathroom now)

That kind of thing it upsets me
(It’s worse than waterboarding)

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